Block 4 had been one of the most difficult times in my life.
Just after our 4 week practicum, my mom passed away. I’ve mentioned this a couple of times in my blog, and it keeps coming up because this has changed my life forever. I cannot stress how much my life has changed and how much I have changed as a person.
Quite often when you see things about death and how people close to the person who had passed, you read about how a part of that person had died with them or how the person they had once been had died. I feel more like the second.
Most of this block felt like I was mourning both my mom and the person I once was. It’s really weird to mourn yourself, but it’s something that happened.
Due to this, one of my main goals for this block had been to have a good attitude and to try and get as much out of my classes as I could. These turned out to be really challenging goals.
This block we only had 3 classes and we had each class 1-2 days a week with only 3 days of classes. So the overall course load wasn’t too bad. It did feel like like it was a lot more then it actually was. I was very depressed that block (and continue to be but not as much), and that really impacted how I viewed my coursework and how I interacted with others. This is not my first touch with depression, but I did find that this is one that had affected my course work the most.
I think the thing that I had struggled with the most was not having any of my close support here. I am originally from Langley and that is where two of my three biggest supporters are (see my support network here). I really rely on my support network (as most people do) and not having them near me during a very difficult time is very challenging.
I think between all of this, I ready struggled to get things out of my course work and my courses. I find that often I do better when the class is a “distraction” or they have a lot going on, but even when they had been quite busy and moving this block, I did often struggle (I did write about one of my courses and you can see more about it here).
I am very grateful for my community in Prince George that I have built within the program. They have been incredibly supportive through my difficult times.
Pictured above is a collage of pictures that I currently have above my bed. I have done this in every room that I have ever had. Every picture has either someone that is important to me or a place that I have been that is important to me. So lots of the pictures up are currently of my mom, but I also have pictures of my close friends and places that I have been (mostly London, Paris, and Italy). Having these pictures up help me remember the people that are constantly in my corner and remember the good times that I have had.
